Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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