Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
