They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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