Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
