Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
