So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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