Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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