I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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