Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My vagina is very pro this idea
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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