my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
