So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
