At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
