so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
