you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
