Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
