FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
not ubering you a puppy
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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