Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
