Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Umm I'm too high to move.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
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