I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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