# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
