Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
