you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
