At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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