I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
