and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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