Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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