I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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