He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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