At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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