thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
