Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
