also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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