No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
