I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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