HIV tests are more positive than that guy
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
