Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We got so high we made milksteak
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
