it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
