i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The ass gains better be worth it
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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