don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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