Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
