sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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