Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
