there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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