They should really pass out barf bags in church
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
