Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
