dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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