FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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