Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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