I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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