That's when you crack a 10am beer
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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