yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
