Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
